falling between the cracks
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: She can't hide in the light. A series of drabble. POV alternates between Calleigh and Horatio.


Disclaimer: Not my characters.  
A/N: I'm not quite sure where this came from. Lots of Calleigh-angst, mentions of abuse, and Hagen-bashing. Not for the faint of heart.

* * *

She sits in the dark, alone, as she always is. She's afraid to turn on the light – she can't hide in the light.

She needs to hide.

"Calleigh! Open up! Dammit, I know you're in there!"

She flinches at the sound of his voice. Why is it that she always picks the wrong guys? What is it with the men who love her and their need to hurt her?

"Calleigh!"

She can't do this anymore.

_"What? You screwing him too? I'll teach you—"_

Wincing at the memory, she reaches for the phone. "Horatio? Could you come over? I – Please?"

* * *

He's never heard her sound so frightened. Her strength has always amazed him. It's one of the things he loves about her. But just now, on the phone, she sounded terrified.

Like a little girl.

She's told him a bit about her past, and his imagination is vivid. In his mind's eye, he sees her hiding under a bed, trembling in fear.

He doesn't know what she is so afraid of tonight. But he will do whatever it takes to keep her safe.

He presses his foot down hard on the accelerator. He has to hurry: his Calleigh needs him.

* * *

She closes her eyes, tightly clutching the phone. John is still beating at the door and she is afraid to move in case he hears her. Maybe she'll get lucky and he'll leave before Horatio gets here.

"Cal, honey, come on. Let me in."

She wonders how she was ever taken in by his charm. If she'd been thinking clearly, she would have seen it was false. He didn't care about her. She'd been mourning her friend and all he wanted was to get into her pants.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

"Calleigh!"

It'll be okay, she thinks. Horatio's on his way.

* * *

He runs up the stairs to Calleigh's floor, praying that he is not too late. He turns the corner and stops in his tracks.

Detective John Hagen is pounding on Calleigh's door, yelling to be let in.

Calleigh is afraid of John?

As he listens to what John is saying, it becomes clearer. Things suddenly make perfect – horrifying – sense. Calleigh's skittishness in the lab. Her heavy make up. Long sleeves in the summer heat.

John looks at him. "Calleigh, your boyfriend's here!" His words are slurred and he staggers unsteadily on his feet. "Come on out and join the party."

* * *

She breathes a sigh of relief and slowly gets to her feet. Horatio is here. Everything will be okay now.

It hurts to move quickly, so she takes small steps from the couch to the door.

It takes forever.

When she finally gets there, she presses her ear to the door, suddenly afraid that John's trying to trick her.

Then she hears Horatio's voice and starts to weep. He came for her!

Her hand is on the doorknob, the other turning the key, when she hears the gunshot. Her blood runs cold.

And then John speaks. "Calleigh, let me in."

* * *

He never thought John would actually shoot him.

Then again, he never thought John would hurt Calleigh either.

Fortunately, John has never been a good shot, and the bullet grazes Horatio's arm instead of tearing through it. He stumbles to one side. Then, when John turns away, he reaches for his own weapon.

And Calleigh opens the door and launches herself at John.

"Calleigh!"

His warning comes too late. John grabs hold of her, spinning so that she is between the two men. A shield.

"Go home," John says. "This has nothing to do with you."

Like hell it doesn't.

* * *

He's alive! She can't take her eyes off him, standing there wearing that feral, dangerous expression she's seen only a handful of times. His arm is bleeding, but not badly.

John's breath is hot on her neck and she can smell the alcohol. She's not surprised.

"Put your gun down," Horatio says.

"You first."

"I can't do that."

John shoves the muzzle into her side. It's still hot and she tries to move.

"Let her go, John."

"So you can have her?"

Horatio shakes his head, and Calleigh feels her heart break.

That's why he's different: he doesn't love her.

* * *

Don't you dare hurt her, Horatio thinks, or I will kill you.

He sees Calleigh flinch as John pokes his gun in her side, and it takes all his self-control to stay where he is.

Easy now.

"Calleigh and I are just friends. You know that."

"I see how you look at her."

He can't lie. "She's a beautiful woman."

"I see how she looks at you."

What? Horatio sees the truth in Calleigh's eyes. To acknowledge it would kill her.

As much as it hurts, he says, "She chose you."

John laughs. Then he throws Calleigh to the floor.

* * *

"You know what? You can have her."

Calleigh recognizes the tone in John's voice. It's the way he sounds when he hits her. Reflexively, she curls up in a protective ball.

John thinks he's won. When he's sober, he'll realize what a colossal nightmare his life has become.

"Police! Freeze!"

The cops stare at John and Horatio, obviously unsure who is in the wrong. Calleigh crawls towards Horatio, not looking back as her colleagues arrest their friend.

"Calleigh."

"I'm sorry." She studies his arm; aware that it is her fault he's hurt.

She wonders what he thinks of her now.

* * *

"Where are you hurt?" He studies her face, his thumbs tracing a fading bruise on her cheekbone. Her skin is unbelievably soft and he can't help thinking of how fragile she suddenly seems. He brushes her tears away, taking care to be gentle.

"I'm fine." She doesn't meet his gaze.

"Calleigh."

"I am. He didn't get a chance to do any damage tonight." There's a trace of bitterness in her words. She sounds like a different person.

He wants to hold her, to kiss away her tears, to show her how much she deserves.

Only, she deserves better than him.

* * *

"You can go now." She turns away, heading for the security of her apartment. Any minute now, she's going to fall apart, and she refuses to do it in front of Horatio.

She's screwed things up enough as it is.

"No." He touches her shoulder, then pulls her into his arms with a tenderness she doesn't recognize. When last was she held like this?

"Horatio—"

"I'm not going anywhere."

She doesn't know how to react; she's unused to being treated like this. "You should get your arm seen to."

"My arm is fine."

"You were shot!" Was he crazy?

* * *

"We need to talk."

"Your arm—"

"Can wait." He appreciates her concern, but there's a lot on his mind. "How long?"

She ducks her head.

"Calleigh."

"A couple of weeks."

He doesn't understand how the Calleigh he knows could put up with abuse. Then he pictures the little girl hiding from her father, and understands.

It's all she knows.

"Oh, Cal." He kisses her forehead, smoothes her hair away from her face, kisses her again. He wishes he could make it better.

"It's over now. No one's going to hurt you again."

To his surprise, she bursts into tears.

* * *

She leans against him, needing his strength, hating herself for it.

No one's going to hurt her again? He's wrong, he already has. His kindness is so wanted, but it hurts – more than John's fists ever could – to know that he doesn't love her.

He's here because he's her friend and she was in trouble, but he doesn't love her.

He cares for her, but he doesn't love her.

"Oh, Calleigh, I do."

Shit. She said that aloud.

"Look at me."

She can't. He must be lying. He doesn't love her.

How could he? She's not good enough for him?

* * *

"I do love you."

She shakes her head, steps out of his embrace. How can he make her believe him? He moves towards her and she cringes. Something ugly twists inside him, burning in his gut, but it's not her he's angry at.

"Calleigh, I'd never hurt you. You know that, right?"

She stares at the floor, her posture stiff, tears shining on her cheeks. "Please leave."

"No."

"I don't want you here."

Torn between wanting to stay, and wanting to show her she can trust him, Horatio sighs. Not knowing what else he's supposed to do, he turns away.

* * *

Panic bubbles up inside her. What is she doing? She doesn't want him to leave.

"Wait."

He stops. She takes a deep breath and wishes she didn't sound so damn pathetic as she says, "Did you mean what you said?"

"I won't hurt you."

She closes her eyes. "Not that. The other thing."

He turns to face her again. "About loving you?"

"Yes."

He nods.

Dammit, she's crying again. "I'm not ready for another relationship."

"I know."

"So we're okay?"

"We will be."

She reaches for his hand and smiles, her first genuine smile all night. "Okay."

"Can I stay?"

* * *

Later, they're curled up on the couch. His arm is throbbing and starting to feel stiff, but he couldn't be happier. Calleigh is lying next to him, finally asleep, her breathing deep and even.

In the morning, they'll give their statements and deal with the aftermath. The days ahead will be tough for Calleigh, and he intends to be at her side every step of the way.

But that's tomorrow.

Tonight Horatio will watch over Calleigh as she sleeps, and he'll think of how he can begin to make up for everything she's gone through.

Maybe his love is enough.

_fin_


End file.
